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When I was four, I was tossed into a dryer and taken for a spin. The day went downhill from there. This block of memories took some time to process and I was unable to do laundry for weeks. I drew this in my sketchbook to give that broken little girl back her power. It was my version of dropping a house on the wicked uncle. As in “Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead”. This picture helps me glimpse the mischievous and curious little girl that was silenced into a state of fear and numbness. Good thing it’s rarely too late to have a happy childhood. Watch out for falling appliances! . . . . . .

#learningtoplay #whatisfun #playfeelslikework #hope #patience #posttraumaticgrowth #healing #healingfromabuse #arttherapy #graphicmemoir #brave #survivor #artheals #ptsd #cptsd #selfcompassion #metoo #mentalhealthawareness #sketchbook #drawingmyfeelings #hope #trauma #feeldealdrawheal #feeldealheal #peelfeeldealheal #stillirise #heartwings #heartfeltart
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Impermanence. All forms are impermanent. It is yielding rather than opposing the natural flow of life. All down cycles are imperative to your up cycles. Let them come and go with ease. Resistance will not allow a shift to take place. ☯️🍃

#eckharttolle #suicideprevention #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #ptsd #panic #panicattack #depression #anxiety #bipolar #mindfulness #cptsd #trauma #distressintolerance #emotionalregulation #schematherapy #psychotherapy #cbt #dbt #quotes
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He promised to take me paragliding but first he parked in an empty lot and took more of my soul away. Crumpled clothes and dreams; it wasn't supposed to be this way. The lies we both carried, suffocating my heart. That smile. That empty fucking smile hiding the rape that happened fifteen minutes before and as I ran towards the cliff I silently prayed to die. Just let this pain end. As I glided through the air tears stung my eyes and I choked down the sobs. The instructor told me to breathe believing I was having a panic attack from the height. His voice calm and soothing only made me cry harder. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to see me, to save me but not even my Mother protected me so who was I to think a stranger would? So I swallowed the secrets once again and let the tears fall. . . .

#breakingthesilence #childhoodsexualabuse #childhoodtrauma #rapesurvivor #metoo #complextrauma #cptsd #ptsd #shame #grief #sexualabuse #secrets #neglect #1in4 #1in6 #invisible #speakup #believethem #depression #anxiety #lettingo #mentalhealthawareness #panicattack #memories #innerchild #survivor #recovery #traumablog #notalone #stillrising
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Dialectical thinking (

#DBT)
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This snapchat expresses how I feel inside a lot🙈

#snapchat #filter #sad #black #cptsd #inside #outside #followme #instagram #woman #girl #bi
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Just finished making this walkie talkie for a ‘Hopper’ Stranger Things costume for hubby. Printed out on tshirt paper, two old black marker pens and sewn together and stuffed... “easy peasy” made a gun and waffle same way 😁

#strangerthings #hopper #costume #costumedesign . . . . . . . . #instagram #fun #randompics #doodles #myartwork #myphoto #instaphotos #iphonephotography #myphotography #craft #walkietalkie #cptsd #complexptsd #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #traumainformed #arttherapy #innerchild #livelifelove #party
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At the beginning of the year, I’ve unfollowed, muted, ignored ALL toxic people and their enablers. « Unfriending and blocking creates too much drama. » Can’t see anything at all, haven’t visited profiles in a LONG time. When I tell you the PEACE 👀 BEST DECISION EVER!! . . If you are dealing w/narcs, cluster b personalities, flying monkeys 🐒 any type of toxicity, I suggest cleaning up your feed. No point putting yourself through rage and pain every day. . . @_thesixfigurechick_ . . . . . . . . . .

#ifmywoundswerevisible #love #toxicrelationships #codependency #selflove #growthmindset #flyingmonkeys #honesty #narcissist #instagood #narcissisticabusesurvivor #mindfulness #abusiverelationship #jezebel #smearcampaign #churchhurtifelt #churchabuse #religioustrauma #spiritualabuse #churchhurtisreal #manipulation #psychology #scars #cptsd #endthestigma
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Repost @daniachebib [definitely check out her page]

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #learningtosayno #emotionalhealing #selfesteem #trauma #ptsd #cptsd
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I seen this and decided to post because cptsd is not a fun thing to live with. The sleepless nights waking up in the middle of the night so soaked you have to change your sheets pillows and blankets. The nightmares of the past anxiety pushing away the people who care most about you because you don't know how to properly deal with not being able to control your emotions so you shut down and hide. Cptsd is a serious issue that most will never understand and those that do will never fully get over. If you know someone with cptsd don't force them to talk just be there when they want to talk. Don't rush them gain there trust by just being a supporting ear. If you push to hard you will lose them and they will never find themselves do not judge them they dont even understand what's going on with themselves . People with cptsd it does get better the bad days come and go but you can move forward and deal with this be strong seek help you don't have to be alone

#cptsd #anxiety #depression #sleepless #sleeplessnights #seekhelp #addiction #wereinthistogether #yougotthis
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☯️🍃 I used to believe that affirmations “just wouldn’t work” in rewiring and permanently changing your thought patterns. Until I actually tried it. I write them as daily lines in a book (like detention at school 😉) Over time what happens is you start remembering your lines. And then it’s just always in the background of your thoughts. Once this happens, you just automatically apply it to your life. It just happens on its own. The first line in my book is: “I will not let any negative thought enter mind, exit my mouth or have as an environment around me.” Have a think about what negative thought patterns or wrong inner beliefs you may have about yourself that could be affecting your life negatively, come up with your own affirmation plan, commit to it and watch the shift shape your life. You can even record your affirmations on your voice memos on your phone and listen to it daily. ☯️🍃

#eckharttolle #suicideprevention #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #ptsd #panic #panicattack #depression #anxiety #bipolar #mindfulness #cptsd #trauma #distressintolerance #emotionalregulation #schematherapy #psychotherapy #cbt #dbt #quotes
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If you’ve been abused, your greatest strength is in learning to love yourself. Walk on & don’t look back (unless your acknowledging & taking responsibility for your choices)

#walkon #justkeepswimming. #Riseabove #love #laughs #respect #validation #codependent #keepitreal #peace #boundaries #blacksheep #cptsd #emotionalabuse #depression #narcissist #abuse #anxiety #mentalhealthrecovery #redflags #recovery #truth #trustyourgut #instasupport #grateful #innerstrength✌🏻
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On Tuesday (4days) I'm getting growth hormones and testosterone injected in to my neck and hips to help stabilize the joints by inducing swelling encouraging healing with additional healing elements . I am not a good candidate for traditional surgery because of my EDS and POTS so we are doing this first because it can be more effective for EDS people . I cut my hair in preperation for my recovery, three days of severe pain, 2 weeks of feeling like getting hit by a bus, . I've had to cut it 3 or 4 times due to the weight on my neck, as it's the only therapy that is sustainable and affordable, and quite frankly I wish I could shave it all except for a bit on the top to dye fun colors, but alas my father (who is paying my medical bills right now) wants me to look like a girl . In all honesty I HATE this haircut, it doesn't sit right, is a wiry mess, and I can't really pull it back, it's not what I thought it would look like, but like everything else in life, I'm going to roll with it, try bandanas, clips, those plastic horse shoe things, and learn to love it, I'll be able to let it grow out now🙃 . [Pic id: Alex a white person with blue glasses, brown/blonde wiry hair sticking out all over, they are looking away from the camera with a goofy face]

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I had one last night. I felt the flashback coming. And I tried to ground myself, but it was just too strong. I was staring at my lamp, trying to be in the present, but every time I blinked I was back in that bathroom. Literally, I could see it with my eyes. Tears silently slid down my face, as I stood in my room trying to beat back the memory. So much more than a memory. It’s an event, it is actively happening to my brain regardless of my physical surroundings. I tried to explain what was happening to my boyfriend, but I couldn’t talk. It felt physically impossible to speak, even though I had the words in my head. I used to have flashbacks much more frequently, and I’m so grateful that I have them less and less. It’s upsetting to have one after all the work I’ve done, after all this time. Knowing that my abusers have still left me so wounded. But I have such better coping skills and a better understanding of myself. I am able to appreciate my strength, even if only for brief moments at a time. I am growing, and I will not allow my past to steal my present and future. Remember that you are never alone, you are not weird because bad things have happened to you. There is hope. . . .

#ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #ptsdsurvivor #ptsdsupport #youarenotalone #youarenotcrazy #trauma #traumarecovery #cptsd #cptsdrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #erasingthestigma #endthestigma #flashback #flashbacks #depression #anxiety #selectivemutism #keepfighting #loneliness #isolation #helpless #hopeless
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My heart still gets heavy with sadness and envy when I see people who were fortunate to have supportive parents. - Childofthewolves ____________________________

#abuse #childhoodabuse #ptsd #cptsd #higherthinking #think #question #brain #mind #family #conscience #wavelength #universe #human #anxiety #educate #narcissist #smile #love #life #quotes #wisdom #narcissisticabuse #selectivemutism
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Some days are really hard. As I uncover and heal from a lot of past trauma, I find myself emotionally yo-yo’ing on a minute by minute basis. I struggle with really intense thoughts and feelings and it isn’t always easy to deal with. Sometimes you’re lucky enough to find a person you can hand your stuff to and know that it will be kept safe and treated with respect. It takes a load off.

#peopleneedpeople #twloha #selfharm #selfinjuryawareness #nostigmanoshame #healingtrauma #cptsd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #ptsd #traumarecovery #dailymotivation #instapic #outdoors #newengland #springtime #sugarriver #beautifulday
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My studio space this past week has been my bedroom. It was either this or not make art...and not making art is not an option! I could work on a painting deadline while making sure my kids were getting ready for bed and take breaks to read bedtime stories and tuck them in. I couldn’t have done that if I was painting downstairs in my usual space. A busy artist and dedicated mom has to do what she’s gotta do! . . . . . . . .

#artistmother #artistmom #mystudiotoday #myartstudio #doitfortheart #cotfa #carveouttimeforart #artisticsurvivor #momswhopaint #cptsd #domesticviolencesurvivor #domesticabusesurvivor #childabusesurvivor #virginiaartist #mybedroom #mystudiospace #spoonieartist #spooniemom
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This is something our system does to help out with system communication and time loss. It helps us keep track of what the body did that day and how everyone is feeling! It’s been helping us a whole lot!!

#ptsd #ptsdrecovery #dissociativeidentitydisorderawareness #mentalhealthawareness #dissociation #dissociationdisorder #cptsd #trauma #traumadisorder #DID #DIDsystems #altars #systemcommunication #mentalhealth #traumasurvivor #abusesurvivor #mentalillness
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𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧! 📖💜⁣ ⁣ After a 3+ hour drive and dealing with tristate MDW traffic (while catching up on episodes of @myfavoritemurder podcast along the way!) and trying to blend in with the New York locals as a Jersey girl pumping gas, I 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 made it to our family home in the Catskill Mountains! ⁣🏔✔️ ⁣ After doing some unpacking and selfcare, I decided to read a new book before bedtime that I picked up yesterday called 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐏𝐃 by Debbie Corso @dbtpath . This book is 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤 for anyone struggling with mood disorders or emotional dysregulation. The author, Debbie, details her path to recovery as she learns how to apply DBT skills to her life in a funny and heartwarming writing style. 👍⁣ ⁣ In the introduction she even mentions her multiple crisis situations, and ER visits that led to her dual cPTSD/BPD diagnosis before starting DBT and so I was honestly in tears by page 10! 🙋🏻‍♀️😭⁣ ⁣ I 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘭𝘺 reccomend this book! ☺️💜🌻📖

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There’s always a way to sneak in some selfcare at anytime no matter where you are! 😘💜 @sweetpositivitea_

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got my heart rate up, was feeling crap but dance, exercise and clean = mentalhealth: happy, satisfaction, buggered lol Equipment needed: feeling like crap 💩, two white sponges, waterproof shoes, feet and cleany spray with 80’s dance music!! and Yep my floor was bad and i have probably used my spoons for today

#spoonies #myartwork #myphoto #heartattacksurvivor #cptsd #complexptsd #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #traumainformed #therapy #heartfoundation #innerchild #livelifelove #emotionalsupport #traumaticbraininjury #childhoodtraumasurvivor #dissociativeidentitydisorder #DID #emotionalabuse #childhoodtrauma #traumatherapy #itsoknottobeok #cptsdrecovery #emotionallyfocussedtherapy #selfcare #psychotherapy #anxiety #mindfulness #mentalhealthaustralia #mentalhealthawareness #psychology
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It is wounded people that cause the most harm. I try to keep that in mind and it helps me to react with compassion instead of judgement. Having compassion doesn’t mean I throw my boundaries away. It means I can understand and empathize with how you feel as I build my wall a little higher. Lol

#woundedpeople #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #ptsd #cptsd #endthecycle #recovery #heal #reachout #godseesyou #allthingsthroughchrist
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Enjoy a Safe Memorial Day Never forget those who fought for freedoms like legalized medicinal cannabis by a vote of the people. Many of these combat veterans need alternative medicine. Thank you Veterans Thank you Oklahoma

#memorialdayweekend #veterans #veterans #veteransuicideawareness #theva #cannabis #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #veteransofforeignwars #cptsd #heroes #warriors #grateful #sacrifice #civilliberties #civilrights #vote
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Have I told you lately that I love my therapist? 💕 She asked me to write this in my journal right beneath last night’s triggered rant. ✨ My weekend homework is to look through these thoughts and assign who the actually belong to - the individuals who said them.

#cptsd #ptsd #osdd #bpd #csa #trauma #therapy #emdr #afemdr #psychotherapy #recovery #mentalhealth #shame #abandonment #neglect #abuse #growth #hope #faith #lovingkindness #selflove #healing #vulnerability #personaldevelopment #knowledge #change #grace #wisdom #enlightenment #therapist
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-wirrwarr- *Anzeige Ich bin ehrlich ich weiß nicht was ich will . Will ich gesund werden ? Will ich trainieren ? Will ich umziehen? Will ich DBT? Will ich überhaupt Normalität? Ich weiss es nicht . Ich würde so gerne schreiben und weinen rennen gleichzeitig weg von allem aber wohin ? Ich sehen mich nach Zuneigung Familie Freunde und am Ende stehe ich immer alleine da 😥 ich kämpfe stehe auf Puder meine Nase wofür ? Im ein Objekt zu sein ? Nach aussehen bewertet zu werden ? Ich habe auch Gefühle und Charakter... Lernt ihm doch kennen .. Nein ich bin nur ein Objekt , Dennoch danke ich dir @blau_lila_hannah_ für das tolle Telefonat das hat echt gut getan Mal mit einer neutralen Person zu reden ,auch wenn die Cookies letztendlich echt ekelig waren 😂 Danke @milena.bgm das du immer da bist trz dieser Entfernung aber hoffendlich bin ich bald wieder in der Nähe ich liebe dich 🦋 Und danke an , @jani.recovery @blau_lila_hannah_ @kleinistmeinname @spread.my.wingss @sams_r3covery @ichxgehxlebenxkommstxduxmit und mehr das ihr so toll aktiv auf meiner Seite seit , ihr seit meine treuesten follower 💜🍀

#recover #recoveryanorexia #recoverwin #recovery #ptbs #cptsd #depresionen #fürmehrrealitätaufinstagram #selflove #selfcare #diversity #diary #recoverblog #recoveryblog #fighter #staystrong #healthy #emotions #magersuchtrecovery #angststörung
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Wishing you all an awesome weekend🔥🙏❤️ . I’m spending mine with loved ones, in an attitude of gratitude, radiant and joyful . I can’t change my past and the things they did to me But I can choose to live my life to the fullest every day from now on . This journey is mine! . Inhale loving kindness Exhale and let go . . . .

#cptsdhealing #griefsupport #cptsd #yogaeveryday #fireelement #domesticviolence #mentalhealthawareness #abusesurvivor #suicideprevention #letgo #holisticliving #adhd #depressionhelp #motivateyourself #anxietyhelp #recovery #sleepaid #hyperactive #happylife #conciousness #cortisolcontrol #dissociationtherapy #risingwoman #shamanic #holisticlife #womanpower #mentalhealthsupport #chakrahealing #satnam
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Believe it or not when you get only partial obedience it is not also partial disobedience - it's your child trying!! A little Say What You See® when you see them trying and you'll likely get full obedience and a deepening in your connection!!⁣ ⁣ Here's a powerful example. I have rules for my youngest about Sharpie markers because, frankly, my walls and even my furniture have Sharpie on them. I ended up hiding them away because they were such a huge temptation for her. And then one day she found one. ⁣ ⁣ I was ready for a struggle but I kept my Language of Listening® training close at hand. Using Say What You See® I said "You found a Sharpie marker!"⁣ ⁣ She immediately held out the marker to give it to me but then pulled it back towards herself (partial obedience - she was trying!) Assuming she only had good intentions I continued with "You found a Sharpie marker and started giving it to me! You know how to follow the rules!"⁣ ⁣ Well, her eyes lit up and she proudly handed the marker over to me. Wow! And the best part??⁣ ⁣ Ever since, whenever she finds a Sharpie she brings it right to me. That issue, handled, forever. ⁣ ⁣ Language of Listening teaches us to coach our kids in a way that empowers them to manage their own behavior WHILE keeping within our boundaries! That means we often stop seeing the same behaviors over and over AND we don't have to micro-manage our kids' behavior for them! ⁣ ⁣ Using that simple step of Say What You See turned a potentially frustrating situation into one that was nurturing! And to that I have to say YAHOO!! ⁣ ⁣

#gentleparenting #empoweredkids #healthyboundaries #positiveparenting #parentinghacks #halifax #sharpies #obedience #disobedience #nurture #workingmoms #autoimmunedisease #cptsd⁣ ⁣ #sahm #teachers #ottawa
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☁️ the toughest critic is always myself but the scrutinizing voice in my head was created not born ☁️

#anxiety #depression #cptsd #selfawareness
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Loaded Mariana up to go run Silvia and bike/trailer.. and my presta valve snaps off and instantly deflates the tire on my 29er. - - Frequently this would cause me to shut down and stay home, because any deviation from the plan in my head creates complete chaos and in short, I become overwhelmed.- - Over the past few weeks I’ve truly hit a new levels w/ pushing my limitations and while it’s never pure progress.. we’re definitely moving forward and it feels phenomenal - - Luckily there was another 🚲 so.. I borrowed mama 🐺s 27.5 lady bike 🚲 and we still knocked out just over 3 miles -

#NoExcuses #NewLimits #ServiceDog #PsychiatricServiceDog #CPTSD #PTSD #Biking #MountainBiking #BikeRide #DaddyDaycare #BurleyTrailer #BurleyBike #DogRunning #RunYourDog #GoPro #PersonalGrowth #LevelUp
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. I'm such a culprit of this. Bitching and moaning when in a ton of physical and/or mental pain, having a bad flare or just an all out crappy day in general. . I often say there's purpose in our pain. I believe some is to teach us to slow our roll. Other times is to aid in the clarity of what another experiences. Pain can be a catalyst towards the understanding of gratefulness. But most of all, I believe it's a tool utilized to:

#changeourperspective, #changeourreality #changeourheart. . Part #countyourblessings . . #bpd #eupd #ptsd #cptsd #bipolar #ocd #depression #anxiety #beatanxiety #suicide #chronicillness #mentalillness #chronicallyill #chronicpain #fibropain #neckpain #backpain #spinalfusion #danceintherain #idiopathicintracranialhypertension #faith #hope #love #everythinghappensforareason #thereispurposeinyourpain #dontlookdownlookup
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This is just a post to document that this morning I woke up with hope again, and faith and expectancy for the future. This week I’ve felt pretty overcome and overwhelmed by all this, but today I know I will move forward and that hope is absolutely real and I can have a beautiful future 💖🌸

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And as she laughed at their cruel mocking, she shook her head and filled the dark sky with the stars she kept hidden in her mind - Ruby🌠 . . . .

#pnwlife #hippie #lovelife #lovelife #stars #girlswhogethigh #feelingood #tgif #seattlestoners #singlegirl #positiveattitude #positivevibes #mentalhealthawareness #cptsd #anxietyrecovery #anxietywarrior
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Joy and Shame cannot Occupy the Same Space

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