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Who was on that CMS-VI-Lekki road today between 12:30 and 1pm?• • The traffic was insane. Like; I spent

#700
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'Whataboutism' is such a problem, and I for one am tired of it. 😩.• • When you say "60% of girls are raped before they are 18," you have some people say "what about the 5% of boys?"• • The question is not that those boys are unimportant or don't matter, because they do. Rather, it is why a person thinks it is appropriate to instigate a frankly unnecessary comparison. It's a tragedy whichever way you look at it. Or sharing a picture of a dad having a moment with his son and having some people say things like "women do these stuffs allll the time." Goodness. When we do things like that, actively deflecting conversations from the point of focus, we expand the conversation in a way that does not necessarily serve anyone at that point in time. The focus on one at a particular time does not in any way invalidate another. Please. Thank you.

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I remember telling a friend I was nervous about my first live session on

#IWD2019. #swipeleft
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Surely, the world is getting to a place where being "politically correct" is deemed of no consequence and unnecessary. It's why people engage on social media platforms with no decorum and we say they are being savage. Some of these things are pretty harmless, while others are downright harmful and a source of harm to our collective humanity. We have dug ourselves so deep in the "us" versus "them" valley and labelled people who are different from us as "other".• • We use words carelessly, and while we might forget them after we type, we should pay more attention to all the people who heard us/read our words, internalized them as part of their already existing biases and are primed to act on that premise in a way that brings real harm to real people. When next you use a word that is a tribal slur or a religious slur, think of the many soils you're planting those seeds on and the harmful fruits that can arise from their growth.

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I have had a week of mostly sober reflections and deep thoughts. I haven't had any energy to post here, even though the thoughts cascaded through my mind, hitting each other in my head and begging to be let out somehow. There were pockets of joy, but I feel like a lot of light went out of the world this week. The Ethiopian Airlines crash, and the death of all of those people who were mostly developmental enthusiasts who cared about Africa and the future of her citizenry. Then the building collapse in Lagos that ensured that the doors of heaven opened yet again to increase its population. I read this morning of a mother who committed suicide. She lost her two children in the collapse. Then the terror attack in New Zealand and the suffocating hate that allows a human label 'different' categorically as 'bad'.• • I wrote a tribute for Prof on the website created for that purpose and I titled it; "He who is not dead," because how can you die when you spent your life living and being a person of value?

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Drive the message home in one of our favorite designs. AFRICAN AF tee. Available in red,blue and black. Link in bio. cc: @mzukaflani mc: @guchofalltrades

#africanaf #couco #africa #countrycollective #africanclothing #toronto #proudlyafrican #nigeria #bracelet #mississauga #africaishome #brampton #africantshirts #toronto #fashion
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Mariam: Aunt Tawa, take. (While trying to shove her sweet into my mouth).• • Me: I don't want, thank you. • Mariam: (Tries to shove it into my mouth again while the spit from opening her mouth drizzles down on my stomach)• • Me: Eww! Get that thing away from my face with your spit on my stomach.• • Her: Aunty Tawa is a beaty beaty.• • "But I didn't touch you."• • "Beaty beaty jor!"• • "Mariam is a laya laya."• • "Aunty Tawa laya laya," all the while giggling like it was some grand game we had going on. Star Girl. 💥.

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THIS campaign has been 3-4 months in the making & it’s been so fulfilling to be a part of it. @one “passed the mic” to 45 amazing female activists across the African continent 🌍 this year, including @samirahsanusi @chmba_ @thelolaomolola @wadibenhirki @aya_chebbi. Visit @ONE and www.one.org for the deets and to join the movement friends! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The future is YOUNG. The future is FEMALE. The future is AFRICAN. Happy International Women’s Day 💐!

#IWD2019 #AfricanAF
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That Friday feeling. CC : @mzukaflani Looks : @mawadwoski Get this tee on our website. Link in bio.

#couco #africaishome #africanaf #africa #proudlyafrican #patriotic #empowered #afro #africanclothing #afrobeats #toronto #clothingbrand
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Here is the thing; the world can be made to make space for you. Sustainable infrastructures and processes can be put in place to ensure you have a seat at the table. But if you don't make space for yourself, none of it will mean anything. So for me, this

#InternationalWomensDay
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Happy women's day to all ladies...keep at it no matter what you own your life and always be happy..

#womensday #womensday2019 #womensdayeveryday #iwd #iwd2019 #blackgirlmagic #naturallyshedope #africanaf #friday #behappy #vskit #shortvideoisvskit
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"You have a right to remain silent..." Errmm, this is Nigeria. Thank you, Next! It's actually pronounced 'muh' and not 'mi'.

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Yesterday, @kassie_nda was kind enough to share her experience on my post asking about a positive experience you've had with someone who was different from you, whether it is their tribe or religion or both. I think it was Chimamanda who said the danger of a single story is not that it is false, but that it can soon be made into the only truth. Something like that. I'm currently reading "The thing around your neck" and it's weird how close the story "A Private Experience" is to this subject matter. It's a long life, y'all. Spread good vibes. 💥.

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Legit thought it was perfect for someone who reads ABC. The English language sure finds a word for errything; Abecedarian? LoL.

#WordOfTheDay
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PAUSE. I'm unsure if it's conditioning, but there is something about the human mind that often hones in on sometimes isolated negative happenings and then use those happenings to generalize and draw conclusions. For example; we can all mention popular negative connotations that are ascribed to different tribes in Nigeria. We paint an entire tribe or adherents of a religion with a brush because of something(s) few of them do. So let's make positivity loud. Share something nice someone who was different from you - tribe, religion - did for you that they didn't have to. I'll go first. During my service year, I often went to have lunch at a fast food after CDS. This day, this Hausa man met me there. We got talking and he asked questions like where did I come from, my tribe and all of that. I told him I was Yoruba, lived in Lagos but my parents are originally from Oyo. He smiled widely and asked why I didn't have tribal marks. He then said he was always happy to see non-Northern corpers in the North and thanked me for staying. Really, he did. He insisted on paying for my food, wished me a successful service year and bade me farewell. Good people are always more than the bad ones. They just don't get the same amplification. Let's amplify some good that came with differences this afternoon, shall we? 👇👇.

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Until today, I had never seen this word. It's pronounced as luh - VYE- uh - thun. Knew it before? The description says Old Testament references to a huge sea monster, Leviathan, are thought to spring from an ancient myth in which the god, Baal, slays a multiheaded sea monster. Are you familiar with this myth?

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In Nigeria, Section 1(4) of the Violence Against Persons Act 2015 makes a provision for the creation of a sex offenders list and the making of said list available to the public. That way, people cannot just flee from a country where they committed a sexual crime and move into another where God forbid, they open a home and take guardianship of girls, like I read happened in a town in Uganda last month. But we all know how laws are in Nigeria, there but not being effected. At this time, only two states - Lagos and Ekiti - have said list, which are less than perfect because they are not regularly updated. A foundation, The Consent Workshop, took it upon themselves to make this happen across Nigeria and they need you to help by signing a petition at http://chng.it/PWWSzGFm. They need 1000 signatures and at last check, already had 917. I'll put the link in my bio and you can take a screenshot and share with your friends if you like.

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For some reason, this word sounds "fancy". Or maybe I'm tripping. 😄. • • •

#WordOfTheDay
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Scarcity mentality is a bane of our existence as humans. The thought that if someone has, then it automatically means there is less for the rest of us. So we sabotage the paths of others, and unknowingly, our own paths because really, you can't do it alone. I can't do it alone. None of us can. Instead of breaking another's spoon, maybe balance it with yours so that eventually, the content of the plate gets around rather than going down the drain. The universe has abundance, and there is enough for all of us. Look around, there is!• • You'll have a great week, won't you? 💜.

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Pretty Boy Vibe 😎

#SDK #Everythingsavage #AfricanAf
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"What do you think about the 2019 elections in Nigeria?" Go around and ask 20 people and you can slap the tag "vox populi" on it. • "Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally translates as 'the voice of the people'. It can be found in the longer maxim, Vox populi, vox Dei, which means "The voice of the people is the voice of God." • • •

#WordOfTheDay
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Did you know I used to use glasses? Yeap. Forgot my last one in a cab in 2015 and I've been salty about getting another since. The nerves in our brains are connected through various pathways to our eyes, nose, ears and what have you. Our body is like a machine and its parts work in tandem, complementing and feeding off of one another. We get so caught in this business of living life that we sometimes forget to raise our heads up, look inward and check on our own self. Like; when last did you have a facials just because? I haven't, this year and probably did twice the entire last year. While you're securing the bag, remember to take care of the 'securer' - you. We'll call it

#SelfCareSaturday.
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Ouch. Talk about being politely rude. I mean, if you're gonna call someone stupid, might as well use a fancy word like 'gormless', right?

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While going for a meeting this morning, I took a cab with this lady. While in transit, something happened between the driver and her. He asked her a question, she ignored him. We are in Allen, Ikeja. She doesn't know exactly where she is going, and asked the driver. Lol. You can guess what his response was - silence. Ignored her and went right on. Myself and the guy beside me were still calling his attention, telling him she was asking a question when she went; "you must be very stupid!" "Is it me you're ignoring?" ati beebeelo. At that point, the guy beside me kept quiet. I did, too. I mean. Why do people do this? Don't insult a person who doesn't insult you. She went on about "who are you to be behaving like that to me?" Say what now? He was prepared to take her to the very last busstop but as the child of God that I am, I asked him, "didn't the bible say revenge is of the Lord?" I think he was shocked enough after looking at me that he allowed God use me. 😂.

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Impetus. I like the way this word sounds. This journey keeps going right on so best create some impetus internally too. If the world is not clapping yet, clap for yo' self.

#WordOfTheDay
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So a thief, but a smart one.• • "Grift was born in the argot of the underworld, a realm in which a 'grifter' might be a pickpocket, a crooked gambler, or a confidence man - any criminal who relied on skill and wits rather than physical violence."

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I have something to share this morning, but I don't want to spoil your day. 😩. I'll still share it - perhaps tomorrow - but in the meantime, enjoy my almost-batting eyelids. Have a great day, y'all. 💜.

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Thought I'd bring this here instead of on my stories, so we can always refer back if there is a need.

#WordOfTheDay
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Whoever thinks up the concepts of Serena's videos with Nike does such a bomb job. Hello Monday. Get your crazy on! And if you wonder if you can do it (frankly, I do too, sometimes), the answer is yes, you most certainly can. 💜.

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Started that loc journey baby. All things African.

#AFRICA #NAPPYAF #BLACKAF #AFRICANAF #DEALWITIT
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Sometimes A man got to do what he got to do😂 For full video check the YouTube link on my bio

#mensconfrence2019 #forbetterorworse #bae #love #comedy #goodvibes #igdaily #funnyvideos #justforfun #lovewins #nairobi #kenya #africanaf #naturallyshedope #talent #actress
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I was working on a piece that delves into Herbal Medicine yesterday (still am, sooo much that we have let go of in our gravitation towards western solutions).• • I needed to check the meaning of a word, found myself on Merriam- Webster and saw their Word of the Day sign-up box. I signed up! The word for yesterday was "EMOTE" which means "to express emotions theatrically or enthusiastically."• • Today's word is in my email; I'll share it later on my IG story. If there are 300 days left in the year, at a word per day, that's 300 words. Assuming I already know half of them, that is 150 NEW WORDS that I will be exposed to. Improving your vocabulary is not rocket science; read books, be curious about words, check for the meaning of words you don't know and consciously incorporate them in your sentences. It's that simple, but the results are amazing.

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Leave the people in your past. Let them be. If everytime you say the story of someone you used to know and don't relate with anymore, they are the bad ones, then something's probably wrong. Plus it's a wrong investment of time and energy. NONE of us is always blameless; we'll do well to remember that. ✌ and 💜.

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Every time there is a post about "types of female friends you should have in your circle," or other associated topics, you always find some women in the comments saying things like "if only women can truly support each other," "if only women are not always jealous of each other," etc etc. I get that Nollywood taught us that the best friend might like your fiancee and 'snatch' him. And that your girlfriend may lie about you to your boss. There is the conditioning that makes us think that women just can't wish other women well. I'm also not saying this is never true; there are people who have gotten this hard knock from life. Men and women. Have you ever wondered if unconsciously, you repel the ones who could have been great friends because of the vibes you keep on giving out? Vibes of "you probably don't truly wish me well and we're all just pretending in this friendship".• • To make these statements the singular truth is to rob yourself the chance of building a tribe of women who just want to grow and cheer with their friends while building the life they desire.

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I can imagine if Cardi B was my teacher 😁 that would be one heck of a class lol

#sunday #funnyvideos #africanaf #cardib #blackisbeautiful #igdaily #vskit #vskittalent #shortvideoisvskit #goodvibes #weekend #comedy #insta #instagram #rap
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Listen to counsel. But don't listen so much that you begin to forget the core of who you are, those little pieces that coalesce into the living, breathing human that you are. Don't do it. Don't you do it. Don't you dare do that to yourself.

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A TED talk; the gift and power of emotional courage by Susan David. Basically, it's about how we have created a world that is linear in terms of how we define emotions. We have categorized some emotions as good - joy, happiness, and some emotions as bad - anger, pain, sadness. We have built a culture that values relentless positivity and discourages people from feeling the full range of emotions that have been classified as negative. Ignoring those emotions then gives them the power to control us and seep into every corner of our lives. It's why we don't try new stuff, because we're afraid they may fail and we don't want to feel the 'negative' emotion of disappointment. We tell terminally sick patients to be joyful all the time. We tell people who lose their job to not think about it. We tell children they have no reason to be sad because "what are you thinking of at this age?"• • She concludes by saying "discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life," and that, that really resonates with me.

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MONEY IS CONFIDENCE. I saw that somewhere. It's such a huge lie, and I'm amazed at how many people actually believe it. It's why we have security men who can't look the home owner in the face when they speak to them, why we have receptionists who are constantly shouted on by their superior and why we have househelps treated like 'charity' cases. Here is what we don't let sink in; none of the above persons is doing the other a favour. It's a job, and you pay for a job. That's it. When you're with people who are wayyyy ahead of you in terms of finances, come with your full humanity. See yourself as full - because you are. Just...be. Being poor in money is not the problem, it's being poor in the mind. • Money is NOT confidence, but you have to train yourself, and your mind, to see it that way.

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I’m extremely grateful for everyone that’s in/been in my life, they helped shape me into who I am today. It took a lot of tears and fake smiles but through it all, ya girl is here, she’s shining and will keep on shining by God’s grace. Here’s to many more smiles, laughter and good times with good people💕☺️ . . . 📸: @issanigerian ❤️ Y’all get at him for amazing pictures 😭 he’s really chill too so you won’t be nervous😌 (albeit a headass at times☠️) . . .

#21st #goofball #alwayssmiling #melaninmagic #blackisbeautiful #shining #chocolate #nigerian #blackexcellence #gratful #friends #family #live #loveyourself #Africanaf #edoqueen #glowup #10yearchallenge #icanbuyalcoholnow #woohoo #horizontallicense
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I think we all need to be watchful, and careful, of how we place people on pedestals they didn't ask to be placed on.• • And how, because of those pedestals, we begin to forget the very important fact that they are humans, just like us. That they will make mistakes, just like us. That they won't always make the right choices. Just. Like. Us. Yes, we can admire. We can look up to. But we have to always be conscious of putting weights on people that they know nothing about and didn't ask for. And when we ask people to take bullets, real or virtual, because of positions that they hold or careers that they have built, we should remember to ask ourselves, sincerely, if we would do the same. And this thing where we expect people to speak up on every single issue. God, so many things are going wrong with the world. Is it not more effective that people choose what battles resonate with them and invest in those?• • I don't know; just thinking out loud here.

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I'm sure in our circle of friends, we have people who we have come to expect certain things, actions and traits from. Because over time, they have shown us that is WHO they are, those are the things they CARE about and find VALUE in pursuing. Do you see?

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I just watched a TED talk; "Your body language may shape who you are."• • Often, when we think about the importance of body language, it is in relation to what other people will think of us. But even more important, is how it makes us think of ourselves. So there are high-power poses (hands on hips with legs a bit spread, for example) and low-power poses (back hunched, head down, arms folded) and beyond the fact that they send a message to the people we interact with at that particular time, they also send a message to our brain about ourselves. How many times have you left a job interview or a business meeting feeling like; "I didn't show them who I am"? And then get in such a funk and even disqualify yourself from a call-back all by yourself. Ripple effects. Because in high-charged situations like that, it's not just about the content of the speech, but about the presence you're bringing into that speech. Presenting small actually over time will convince your brain into thinking that indeed you *are* small, so check your posture, your speech, your tone. You might feel like a fraud at the beginning, but if you do it enough, you will begin to internalize it and eventually, you will BECOME it.

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Our goals look eerily similar, don't you think?• • If you check the list you have created for yourself, how many things on that list are there because they are what you want and how many are there because you think that's what you're *supposed* to want?• • You don't really want to run a business. You don't have any real reason to drive yourself crazy to live somewhere. You don't really need a car, and you certainly can't afford one now• • That's so many of us, in different ways. Yet, we're in a constant race after ALL these things, sometimes at the same time. And if someone were to stop us and ask; "why do you want to do this?", we'd stay rooted to the spot, breathless from running so hard, and quiet. Quiet because we don't even know. We're just going with the flow, getting "it", because the world says "it" should be gotten.

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Perhaps you find the work that organizations like the United Nations and UNICEF do inspiring. You are passionate about development and you would love to work in International Development in Nigeria, but simply do NOT know where to start and how to apply. Decipher Solutions is organizing a FREE intensive CV and Resume Writing Workshop in Abuja. Our trainer is a consultant with UNICEF, so you know you're learning from someone who has been there and done it. All you have to do is share why you want it on the original post on @deciphersolutions page. That's it. I hope you take this opportunity; let's make our dreams come true. 💜.

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I got my first "no" of the year today, just about 2 hours ago. It's also for the first application I made this year. When I saw the name in my email, my heartrate doubled and my stomach went into an overdrive of activity. In that split second, different thoughts ran through my mind. And then the message; "...we regret to inform you that..." 😓😓. Lol. Did I cry? No. But it hurt, deep inside my belly. And I had to remind myself to take my own medicine and use the words I tell my friends when an application doesn't quite work out. That the winning is also in putting yourself out there and trying. That yes, we will win some, but we'll also lose some. And we have to be okay with that. This application took me an entire day, and many moments of mumbling to myself to complete. But yes, we win some and we lose some.• • 🍸.

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What if you woke up one day and found that an anonymous person was sharing the story of your sometimes exciting and many times, tumultous young adulthood life?• • In Girls of Riyadh, a narrator, through a series of emails, shares the stories of 4 friends - Sadeem, Mashael (Michelle), Gamrah and Lamees. It chronicles the journeys and love lives of these young women who belong to the velvet-class of Riyadh and who fumble through their paths of defining themselves in the unchanging face of culture, the unyielding nature of tradition and the authority of religion. Sadeem, divorced by her husband barely before her marriage had started, after his illusion of her proved to be transient. Michelle, constantly pulled between the two worlds of her Saudi Arabian father and American mother and the ideals both worlds represent. Gamrah, married to a husband who didn't want her and after an unceremonial divorce, rendered a lesser part of society. And Lamees; rebel, constantly pushing the boundaries of what society deems as proper. Girls of Riyadh addresses important themes of fairness, classism, feminism, identity, and how our realities as human intersect more than we think.

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Excited to finally be able to share this baby!• • Formerly the FCT Spelling Bee, the Solutions Spelling Bee has been expanded to hold in the 6 geopolitical zones of Nigeria - in Abuja, Enugu, Gombe, Kano, Lagos, and PortHarcout. Beyond the spelling bee, registered students will also participate in essay writing, prose writing workshop, educational games to mention a few. Peep the image for the fantastic prizes winners at the finale will go home with. So, if you have younger ones in Junior Secondary Schools in any state in Nigeria, then they definitely should register at www.solutionsbee.org. They will have a great time, build capacity, learn to function among high-performing colleagues - all skills that are very important for living and building. If you can, PLEASE share to your stories. We would like as many people as possible to register and have a shot at learning and winning. Thank you!

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It was my 100 level in the university, and I was particularly enamoured with long braids; you know, those ones that flowed to the middle of your back. You probably can't imagine me like that, but did too! 😂. Loved those braids. Anyway, one day, we just finished a lecture in the evening, and this lady walked up to me asking for my name. I responded; "my name is Tawakalit." Then she said; "don't you know it's not proper the way you're leaving your hair open; you're a Muslim and it should be covered!"• • You know that thing about manner of approach? Hers was zero. I can't remember if I responded or what I said; I was mostly shocked and later when I replayed the scene in my head; pissed. Then, one day, I decided no more "on and off" and started rocking fab turban styles (so fab, people used to describe me with my turbans). Then another day, I decided to start covering my neck and that was it. I was a jewelry girl; had an entire bag of just earrings and necklaces, but I didn't even miss showing them when I made that decision. Forever a wristwatch girl. Journeys; we'll all get there when we do. Until then, lead with love.

#worldhijabday,
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